Last week, I was in the Situation Room with a client. She scheduled a consult because she was furious about something at work and she needed to talk through how to go about regaining control of a situation with her boss. 

In these types of situations, the first step is often the most challenging, moving past the feelings. Facts over feelings is a phrase you will hear me use often. And this time, we had to dig a little deeper, past the surface to find discernment between the two. 

As we continued to talk, we discovered that her overwhelming work frustrations had seeped into how she had also dealt with the family that day. We’ve all been there at some point, right?

After creating her situational strategy, she then took a step back and decided that she probably owed her family an apology for being snapping at them; recognizing that they didn’t deserve it.  

Excuse me, Michelle, what exactly, does that have to do with you? I’m getting there, friend, promise. 

I was so proud of her A-list effort. I absolutely love getting to witness growth in action. We had done the work…and my client was back on course, heading toward a win! 

Release the confetti, cue the happy dance and insert a shimmy or two. 

Then it hit me; that dreaded lightbulb of self accountability.

In my client’s moment of growth, I had my own “ah-ha” moment. I realized that years ago, I gave someone the apology I wanted them to have and not the apology they deserved. Listen, I told you I wasn’t perfect. 

Here’s the thing, with my knowledge and experience in business etiquette, I can’t unknow the right thing to do. I’m obligated to make it right. Now, I want you to hear me good when I tell you there is no expiration date on that and no half steppin allowed. 

Here is where building better relationships really gets a workout. I have to provide an appropriate apology, while – wait for it – not wanting to rekindle the friendship. I know, I know! But, we are friends right? So I can tell you, it was all my fault (lol); but the situation unfolded in a way that allowed me to see things in that person that I’m ok, being without.

I’m sharing this with you because I want you to see how my choice to not rekindle a relationship does not absolve me from fully owning my behavior/actions. I’ve made a commitment to myself and to you, to filter my actions and reactions through the lens of consideration, honesty, respect and integrity.  

I want you to see that all of this (the A-list community, the workshops, the development and the positioning ourselves to be more profitable) is about our confidence and commitment to being a work in progress, continuously developing into better versions of ourselves.

Once you commit to yourself and your brand values, you will face difficulties, you will have to boss up in ways you didn’t know you could and you may not always get it right. Keep trying! 

I will always celebrate your C+ effort over an F, anyday. And I need you around, to help me celebrate mine. 

Is there a situation you need to make right? Learn from me. You can do it. It’s never too late. And friend, if you need help, I am always just a click or call away. 

Lights! Camera! ACTION!

You are now the actor/actress you never really wanted to be. The camera is always on and that means, so are you.

I know it feels a lot like the sky is falling. It’s a lot. And you just want to stand out and make your mark, especially during this chaotic time. So what can you do?

Number one, do not be seduced by the comforts of home. Being too comfortable and too casual while remote working can be detrimental to your brand. Instead, commit to presenting yourself with the same professional image you would outside of the home.

Secondly, video meetings are real meetings! And I need you to conduct yourself accordingly friends. Prepare to bring your A-Game, each and every time.

I know you are busy and have much on your plate; so here are 5 of my top helpful hints to help boost your brand while video conferencing.

And don’t worry…it’ll only take a minute.

I imagine that social distancing, sheltering in place, educating from home, and working from home, has created an increase of entertainment time in your home as well. Whether you are streaming for family time or as a means to unwind and chill,  you are likely finding quality downtime to be even more valuable to your routine right now.

I am right there with you. This past week, I found myself in serious need of some mindless entertainment; something just enough light hearted and funny to relax to {suggestions welcomed}. I didn’t want anything too serious. You know, nothing that I’d have to connect dots or remember how things were related. 

Something I could unwind to and even if I fell asleep, it would be peaceful with a smile on my face. I surprisingly found that escape and more in the movie Little, starring Marsai Martin, Regina Hall, and Issa Rae. 

The more I watched, the more I saw many of the conversations I’ve had with you and the real life stuff that we all go through. Even though I wasn’t looking to work, this movie turned out to be a fantastic illustration of everyday etiquette that I just had to share with you. 

Entertainment aside, there are 5 key takeaways from this movie that I am confident you can connect with and use to strengthen your everyday etiquette practice. 

Develop your voice. 

A lack of confidence can handicap you. I will admit there is an art to knowing and speaking to your strengths while supporting and respecting the opinions and feelings of others around you. It’s not an easy thing to learn. You also can’t even begin to learn to finesse the art if you don’t know your own voice, your own worth, your own value.

Sure, we all have work to do. We all have areas in which we can improve ourselves but you do have to get clear on what you do and do well. Give yourself permission to be better than average at something and know it! It’s time for you to acknowledge and take pride in the hard work you’ve put in and/or the things you have accomplished. Whatever “it” is.  

Your voice is the most important voice you’ll hear. 

Deal with the haters. 

You will not be everyone’s favorite flavor. People can dislike you for any number of reasons (and sometimes it’s just a choice). A peer or co-worker choosing to dislike your style, your flow, your look, your presence, isn’t a thing you can control. And it isn’t your stress to carry or manage. Don’t waste your energy here, you have a job to do, a legacy to build, a reputation to protect. 

Haters are everywhere. Serve anyway. 

Sometimes itʼs you! 

That’s right, I said it. Some of the challenges you’re experiencing aren’t always sabotage, someone out to get you, or the incompetence of your team, but rather a result of how you treat, interact with, manage, and trust others. 

The bottom line is people usually wonʼt perform for people they donʼt like. That goes for adults and children alike. I advise you to think about your actions, think about your reactions, and then ask yourself? Is it me? 

Be prepared friend…occasionally the answer will be yes. 

Own your mistakes. 

When you are wrong, you’re wrong. When you have wronged someone or made a mistake an apology is owed. Doesn’t matter if you intended to harm or whether or not you think the other person is deserving of your apology.

Life happens. It is ok if you drop the ball, or run late, or forget. It happens and let’s face it, you don’t know everything.  Let’s commit to being mature enough to reflect on who was counting on us, who we let down, and if there was anything we could have done to avoid or lessen the impact. 

This is how you start to learn from your mistakes. After that, address…adjust, and then…move on. 

Transformation doesnʼt happen over night. 

Unlike the film, you wonʼt be a new person at the break of day; but you can work to make small improvements each day. 

All you have to do is choose. You can choose to start (or stop) today. You can choose a new path, a new direction, a new habit…but, remember this, EVERY DAY…it is your choice. 

Friend, as always, if you need extra support and guidance, I am here for you. And here’s the bonus lesson from the film, we don’t have to do it alone; use your resources, use your team.

Let’s talk about taking a serious step toward upgrading your image and influence. If you have 15 minutes, so do I. You pick the day and time, HERE.  

As many of you are finding out, working from home (teleworking) requires a pretty high level of communication. This unprecedented working in teams, working as an organization while social distancing, has lots of moving parts. And because it is so new and fresh, it seems to have little rhythm or a systematic approach to it. It feels a lot like…the sky is falling.

Non-stop emails and more oh by the way, we’re scheduling a video call in an hour, than I can count.

We are talking about information being updated every half hour to an hour. EVERY communication is of the highest importance right now. And nothing can fall through the cracks. It’s everywhere…all the time.

Don’t get frustrated, get prepared.

We are going to be OK friend. We have each other. I am here to help you, not only save your sanity, but to thrive & survive. Truth is, the world may never be the same; but in the meantime, you are still putting in the work to build a bigger, better, stronger toolkit to help you withstand this professional storm. And I am really proud of you for digging deep and staying committed to yourself and your legacy.

So what can you do? What can you do to continue to build your brand and polish your professional skills?

Simple, you are going to keep reading. You are going to get your pen and paper or your screenshot finger ready to capture these three, quick tips for high touch communication while teleworking.

Ready? Let’s dive in.

#1. Acknowledge Receipt.

I’ll be honest, this is a great practice to have on any day of the week but especially now when email communication is high and consistent. The bottom line is you don’t want to leave people hanging. You don’t want to leave people wondering whether or not you got the message or if you’ve been updated/notified. Simply hit reply and acknowledge that you received the message.

If a question is being ask of you, but you need time to gather info or do more research, simply provide some insight on when you’ll get back to them. “Message received. I hope to provide you an update by end of business today” or “Message received. You can expect a follow up by noon tomorrow.”

The key takeaway here, is that you start communicating that the information or their needs are on your radar. Make sense? Let’s move on.

#2. Apply the W-4.

I know some of you are thinking, say what now? I’ve never heard of it, let alone know how to apply it. Let me explain. When it comes to email and providing a high touch communication experience you’ll want to answer questions involving who, what, when, and where…your W4.

The fifth W, why (or how) is a phone call! Explanations through email can sabotage a business relationship because you are depending on the recipient to interpret what you mean and how you mean it. Don’t be tempted to type like you speak in conversation. Written, it often leads to miscommunication. Something you are likely to see increase in the coming weeks.

Take the time to elevate your brand through personal connection by picking up the phone to provide further clarity on a matter involving why/how. You’ll be glad you did.

#3. Watch Your Tone.

Here’s the thing, when someone is reading, they do not have your facial expressions, body language, or voice to help with the meaning behind your words. Take the time…better yet…make the time to re-read your email communications. Re-read your message to double check and ensure that your message says what you want it to say, how you want to say it.

Look at this social distancing, work from home era as a time to put in the work to truly set yourself apart as a consummate professional who can quickly adapt to change. Every organization looks for a team members with this skill set.

Now is your time. Let’s practice to make progress.

For an insiders glimpse into seriously helpful professional tips and best practices, join us on FB or INSTAGRAM, drop your email to join The A-List, and/or schedule 1:1 consulting session. You can also check out more products and webinars under our Resources page. Together we’ll work to create and elevate your personal brand; creating a portfolio of value that can’t be duplicated. I’m so excited to collaborate with you.

Dear Rude People…

As a military spouse, I love that technology has advanced in a ways to help people maintain close relationships across distances far and wide. It has been incredibly helpful for my marriage and keeping my whole family connected. 

These same features have been transformative for the way we work and do business as well. It is how I can train and coach clients, literally, anywhere in this world.

But I need you to lean in friend, because today, we’ve got to get real about a thing. 

Ya’ll…these cell phones!!!! 

Facetime and speaker phones are wonderful features but we must take action to use them more responsibly. These features are earbud compatible AND help to keep your conversations and entertainment preferences semi-private. 

For a culture that seems to love for everyone to stay out of their business, we sure keep publicly sharing all the things. I just don’t get it. And I know it’s not you but you’ve seen it. You know what I’m talking about. 

I’m just saying: 

• You want to say see you next time to your grandbaby while waiting at the airport…fine!
• You want to listen to your music while riding the train…no problem!
• You want to scroll through Facebook while waiting for your kid during gymnastics…go for it!
• You need for your kid to self entertain at the restaurant table…I’ve been there! 
• You need to take the video call while waiting in line at the post office…knock yourself out.

But for goodness, PLUG IN! Use your earbuds, Beats, headset, whateva!

I like to say that each of us stars in our own movie, meaning whatever we have going on, is our priority and focus. The people around us are just extras in the film. 

And don’t get me wrong, I have been guilty of being oblivious to others. I can get hyper focused on this is what I need, this is the time I need it and this is how I’d like to get it done. 

But then I learned the importance of perspective and how it is a HUGE part of building strong, lasting personal and professional relationships. You know the old saying, it’s not what you know but who you know. Well, the “who” is all about relationships. 

The truth is we often act in the interest of our own convenience.And  that isn’t necessarily a bad thing; but when I committed myself to becoming a more poised professional working to build a legacy of distinction, I learned I must continuously be conscious of how I respect and show consideration for those around me. 

I’ve become more aware of the little things. I make an effort to not be on my phone when checking out at the store. I provide the greeting of the day to my cashier and respect the effort they put into their job of trying to get me out of the store quickly by not holding them up, trying to balance my phone, my conversation and my purse while trying to pay. It also shows the person I’m talking to, a little more respect by providing them my undivided attention instead of continuously putting them on hold. 

Side note, have you ever wondered why someone even answered the phone when they really couldn’t talk? I mean…right?!?!?

If you have been looking for a small way in which you can improve yourself, I offer you this small step. I hope you’ll think of this journey of personal growth  like a lego set…the small pieces build something larger and more exciting. 

I’m happy to share with you and support you in taking more steps toward embracing the improvements that are working for me – today! Just click the link: https://page.co/Kjm7g .

Practicing a little more each day, 

Michelle  

My sister is pregnant, expecting her second child in just a few short weeks. She ask me to educate people on handling office pregnancies. We took it one step further. Today, via Facetime, she walked me from her car to her desk to hear the comments and see the reactions of her co-workers greeting her as she arrived for work.

I kid you not, a man stopped his vehicle, rolled down his window and said “you haven’t had that baby yet”? <insert blank stare> He did say it with a smile, as he truly didn’t mean to offend; but at 9 months pregnant, it is obvious a baby is STILL in there.

My moms out there know what I’m saying. You’ve been on the receiving end of jokes, comments, and questions month after month…after month. People pointing out the obvious changes in your walk and figure. It is almost as exhausting as being pregnant. ALMOST!

Can you imagine how frustrating it must be to grant countless people the benefit of the doubt for their thoughtless behavior, day after day?

The A-list is all about building a bigger and better professional toolkit. You are working toward maintaining a reputation of distinction. And today, I’m offering a few tips on how to handle an office pregnancy. I know your time is valuable so this will only take a minute.

If you have another tip or suggestion that should be added to the list, I’d love to hear from you. Post a comment here or connect socially to share. FB:@themichelleawhyte or on Twitter:@michelleawhyte

When you know better, you do better…but it takes practice! Join the A-list for more seriously helpful resources, proven tactics, and access to exclusive training programs, SIGN ME UP.

Many of you headed back to work today. And while your holiday season may have been merry and bright, it is likely someone you work with is struggling with the loss of a family member or pet.

What do you do or say when a co-worker loses a loved one?

An unfortunate but excellent question. A question I thought worth answering today. While we are refocused and re-energized to work toward our goals and on ourselves, I want you to also continue practicing your thoughtfulness and consideration of others.

Keep in mind that you may be in a good place, but life is happening all around you; and someone’s life has recently changed forever.

Because you are committed to conducting yourself with grace and distinction, here are a few A-List tips and best practices to guide you through how to handle a co-worker that has lost a loved.

Grief never goes away…it only changes with time.

Do you have a valuable tip you think should be included? Post a comment and/or tag me on Facebook or on Twitter. Better yet, if you find these tips helpful, share it.

#professionaldevelopment #60secondetiquette #personaldevelopment #businessetiquette

This is the biggest self reflection time of the year!!! What connects us is actually pretty funny when you think about it. We are all working toward living our best lives, becoming the best versions of ourselves. And each year we go through the motions to make the next year our best year.

I’m sure you, like me, are already thinking of new ways you’ll prepare for the New Year, the new month…the new decade.

You’re thinking about the books you’ll read, the people, places, and things you’ll leave behind, the changes you hope to make. You’re ready to set new goals for yourself; maybe make a resolution or two. You’re contemplating vision boards, daily affirmations, journaling, memberships and more. You may even be starting to feel anxious about whether or not you’ll really stick to it this time.

Naturally, I want to help; because that’s what friends are for, right?

I want you to be ready for 2020!

What I mean is, I don’t want the ball to drop next week and you still feel lost, confused, or unclear about where you are heading. In order to get the picture perfect lifestyle you’re creating on that vision board, you have to get clear on who you are and what you stand for.

I want you to remember, the vision you are drafting and crafting for yourself, all comes back to YOU. Your thoughts, your priorities, your mental toughness, and your actions.

You can not manifest that which you are not willing to work for.

Your true success starts with a clear definition of who you are and what you stand for. I want to challenge you to take these last few days of 2019 to really put in the work and focus on yourself, preparing your future self. I want you to take a moment to refine your dream image and/or personal brand. I want you to reconnect with yourself and the root of your goals.

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it…refine who you’ll be in 2020. Here’s how:

1. Join The A-List, just click HERE.
2. Receive Welcome Email & the Refine Your Professional Brand PDF
3. DO THA WORK!
4. Post About Your Experience, Goals & Take-a-ways on our FB/Twitter.

I guide you though quick and easy self reflection exercises to help you identify where you want to polish your image/skills. Then, you’ll create your personalized road map, assessing additional areas of support you may need. You’ll finish with an outline to position yourself for your next best step in achieving your goals, plus an A-list community to help support and hold you accountable.

Greet the New Year with confidence and clarity. Refine who you’ll be in 2020.

Get your favorite pen and paper ready! It’s the season of giving, gratitude, and thoughtfulness. You are here because you want to know how to serve up a gracious note of gratitude each and every time.

But what goes into a great thank you note?

Someone has done something for you and you know a heartfelt thank you is in order. You’ve got your card; you are ready to write. Thank you…you pause…ummmmmm…that about covers it. That’s what I wanted to say.

Can you relate?

If you struggle with what to write, if you find yourself stuck not knowing what to say beyond thank you, you are in the right place! Keep reading and we’ll walk through the recipe for successful note writing. The ingredients you need for a great thank you each and every time you need to dish one out.

You’ll feel more confident in your ability to write out and acknowledge your gratitude. And you’ll have the recipe for consistency, something to fall back on when you are feeling stuck.

STEP1: Much like any recipe, you need to assess the time. We tend to shy away from elaborate recipes on a Tuesday night saving them for the weekend. In this case, you are assessing your timing. Whenever possible send a handwritten thank you as soon as possible. Your goal should be within 24 hours…a week at the latest. Now, I get it, LIFE HAPPENS and can get in the way. So I want you to know that late is still better than never. But as a professional practice, try to improve your response time to sooner rather than later. Deal?

Think about it. When would you like to be thanked?

STEP 2: Choose Your Format. Will you make a phone call? Send an email? Or hand write a note? In a recipe, it’s a lot like trying to figure out which pan you’ll use, loaf or bundt? If you can’t decide on with which format is most appropriate to send, choose and not or. That’s right, double the gratitude. Make that phone call or send an email almost immediately saying thank you for an invite, their time or a kind gesture. And then follow up with your handwritten, short, and focused note in a day or 2.

Still struggling with the most memorable approach? Ask yourself:

How you want to be remembered?

What will set your message apart?

Once a phone call happens, it’s over and email often deleted. But handwritten notes are a bit of an experience. Something to have and to hold.

Step 3: Keep it Short & Sweet! We’re talking 3-5 sentences. It’s plenty. Use this easy 5 step formula.

• Greetings/Salutation
• I wanted to thank you right away for…
• Say why it was special to you.
• Thank them Again
• Close & Sign

If you need a format of exactly what to write, click here for our A-List Writing Worksheet. It is so easy you can use it with your kids.

STEP 4: Don’t Do To Much! What does that even mean, Michelle? It means, share your appreciation but don’t go on and on. Be gracious with a focus, in other words, stick to the point. This isn’t the time for selling yourself, your business or scheduling future plans & appointments.

No matter how you slice and service it, thoughtfulness and gratitude are great, everyday, ways to practice parts of your etiquette training. So go on, grab a pack of cards from Dollar Tree, Target, or personalize stationery all your own HERE.

For more personal/professional growth, inspiration, and training, Join The A-List. Plus, there is a surprise resource waiting in your Welcome Email when you do. Trust me, its a bundle of tips and exercises in an area every professional tends to struggle. But not you…not anymore! You’re Welcome.

Do you struggle with handling confrontations with co-workers? Do have difficulty determining what to say? Are you afraid to be labeled as aggressive for speaking up? Are you frustrated with knowing how to get your point across without being distracted by emotion? Here is what I want you to do. So many times we don’t take a step back and assess a situation before we are ready to go ALL. THE. WAY. IN. 

Believe it or not, all confrontations do not require immediate attention. Often times, when we jump right into defending ourselves, our position, and our work ethic when we feel disrespected, embarrassed, threatened, and/or undervalued. And yes, we could find ourselves grandstanding and defending things that are not even in question. I’m sure you are asking yourself “well then, what would you have me do”? What is the BEST piece of advice, this first step. I want you to say, I want you to practice recap over react. Go ahead, say it out loud. I’ll wait. The very first thing, I want you to do is recap the situation at hand.

RECAP?!?!? Yes, recap, your clapback response is often in regard to the person doesn’t address the situation, which is the real problem you want resolve.

You have to take a step back…breathe…and then approach a situation with a clear head and a well laid plan. Write down what you believe has happened. This will allow you to see, sort, identify and clarify what you feel you need to address. It is the first step in being able to disect and remove unnecessary emotion from the equation; and possibly prevent you from looking like an aggressive hothead or unstable mess. Because you will be able to stay focused on the issue, not the person.

You will be able to begin shifting the narrative around you to one of listener and leader. Your peers will be in awe of your ability to hear hard things, process, and tactfully respond, if needed. This is a simple skill that will propel you forward, yet serve you well in many of your relationships. And it will take practice. Lot’s of practice!

Knowing how to respond with tact, starts with taking a moment to assess the situation BEFORE responding. In other words, think before you speak. Easier said than done, am I right? Recap over react, is one of the BEST first steps you can take toward tactfulness in addressing your peers and co-workers with difficult situations.

Now, if you are wondering, what is after recap; after I write it down, then what do I do next? I am happy answer. I’m delighted to share more tips with you. I’ve bundled strategic action exercises to help you get unstuck on what to do and  unstuck on what to say when approaching your next confrontation.

Put them all together, practice and you’ll feel more confident in your ability to handle sensitive situations because you’ll be equipped with a process to begin addressing issues (not people) consistently, professionally, and without added emotion. It’s in the A-List Approach to Confrontations and it’s free. All you have to do, is drop your email here to sign-up and download your practice guide.

I am here to tell you, you can do hard things. But you’ve got to be willing to do the work that matters.