Do you struggle with handling confrontations with co-workers? Do have difficulty determining what to say? Are you afraid to be labeled as aggressive for speaking up? Are you frustrated with knowing how to get your point across without being distracted by emotion? Here is what I want you to do. So many times we don’t take a step back and assess a situation before we are ready to go ALL. THE. WAY. IN.
Believe it or not, all confrontations do not require immediate attention. Often times, when we jump right into defending ourselves, our position, and our work ethic when we feel disrespected, embarrassed, threatened, and/or undervalued. And yes, we could find ourselves grandstanding and defending things that are not even in question. I’m sure you are asking yourself “well then, what would you have me do”? What is the BEST piece of advice, this first step. I want you to say, I want you to practice recap over react. Go ahead, say it out loud. I’ll wait. The very first thing, I want you to do is recap the situation at hand.
RECAP?!?!? Yes, recap, your clapback response is often in regard to the person doesn’t address the situation, which is the real problem you want resolve.
You have to take a step back…breathe…and then approach a situation with a clear head and a well laid plan. Write down what you believe has happened. This will allow you to see, sort, identify and clarify what you feel you need to address. It is the first step in being able to disect and remove unnecessary emotion from the equation; and possibly prevent you from looking like an aggressive hothead or unstable mess. Because you will be able to stay focused on the issue, not the person.
You will be able to begin shifting the narrative around you to one of listener and leader. Your peers will be in awe of your ability to hear hard things, process, and tactfully respond, if needed. This is a simple skill that will propel you forward, yet serve you well in many of your relationships. And it will take practice. Lot’s of practice!
Knowing how to respond with tact, starts with taking a moment to assess the situation BEFORE responding. In other words, think before you speak. Easier said than done, am I right? Recap over react, is one of the BEST first steps you can take toward tactfulness in addressing your peers and co-workers with difficult situations.
Now, if you are wondering, what is after recap; after I write it down, then what do I do next? I am happy answer. I’m delighted to share more tips with you. I’ve bundled strategic action exercises to help you get unstuck on what to do and unstuck on what to say when approaching your next confrontation.
Put them all together, practice and you’ll feel more confident in your ability to handle sensitive situations because you’ll be equipped with a process to begin addressing issues (not people) consistently, professionally, and without added emotion. It’s in the A-List Approach to Confrontations and it’s free. All you have to do, is drop your email here to sign-up and download your practice guide.
I am here to tell you, you can do hard things. But you’ve got to be willing to do the work that matters.