Last week, I was in the Situation Room with a client. She scheduled a consult because she was furious about something at work and she needed to talk through how to go about regaining control of a situation with her boss.
In these types of situations, the first step is often the most challenging, moving past the feelings. Facts over feelings is a phrase you will hear me use often. And this time, we had to dig a little deeper, past the surface to find discernment between the two.
As we continued to talk, we discovered that her overwhelming work frustrations had seeped into how she had also dealt with the family that day. We’ve all been there at some point, right?
After creating her situational strategy, she then took a step back and decided that she probably owed her family an apology for being snapping at them; recognizing that they didn’t deserve it.
Excuse me, Michelle, what exactly, does that have to do with you? I’m getting there, friend, promise.
I was so proud of her A-list effort. I absolutely love getting to witness growth in action. We had done the work…and my client was back on course, heading toward a win!
Release the confetti, cue the happy dance and insert a shimmy or two.
Then it hit me; that dreaded lightbulb of self accountability.
In my client’s moment of growth, I had my own “ah-ha” moment. I realized that years ago, I gave someone the apology I wanted them to have and not the apology they deserved. Listen, I told you I wasn’t perfect.
Here’s the thing, with my knowledge and experience in business etiquette, I can’t unknow the right thing to do. I’m obligated to make it right. Now, I want you to hear me good when I tell you there is no expiration date on that and no half steppin allowed.
Here is where building better relationships really gets a workout. I have to provide an appropriate apology, while – wait for it – not wanting to rekindle the friendship. I know, I know! But, we are friends right? So I can tell you, it was all my fault (lol); but the situation unfolded in a way that allowed me to see things in that person that I’m ok, being without.
I’m sharing this with you because I want you to see how my choice to not rekindle a relationship does not absolve me from fully owning my behavior/actions. I’ve made a commitment to myself and to you, to filter my actions and reactions through the lens of consideration, honesty, respect and integrity.
I want you to see that all of this (the A-list community, the workshops, the development and the positioning ourselves to be more profitable) is about our confidence and commitment to being a work in progress, continuously developing into better versions of ourselves.
Once you commit to yourself and your brand values, you will face difficulties, you will have to boss up in ways you didn’t know you could and you may not always get it right. Keep trying!
I will always celebrate your C+ effort over an F, anyday. And I need you around, to help me celebrate mine.
Is there a situation you need to make right? Learn from me. You can do it. It’s never too late. And friend, if you need help, I am always just a click or call away.